User blog:BackToTheFuturama86/Theodore Roosevelt vs John F. Kennedy. ERBoBTTF S2:E3
In honor of President's Day, I decided to write a battle featuring former presidents. Today's battle features 26th President of the Unites States, Theodore Roosevelt, against 35th President of the Unites States, John F. Kennedy, to see who's the most badass president of all time. Cast EpicLLOYD as Theodore Roosevelt Nice Peter as John F. Kennedy Zach Sherwin as George Washington The Battle EPICRAPBATTLESOFPRESIDENTS! JOHN F. KENNEDY! VS! THEODORE ROOSEVELT! BEGIN! Teddy What's up, bitch? President number 26 in the House Here to tell this Catholic bastard what Presidency's all about You call your reign as President successful? Ha, hardly! Imma make you lose your mind like my name is Lee Harvey You say you're fighting for civil rights, but it's all just a sham Oh, you slept with Marilyn Monroe? Well, I don't give a dam You act like you're so popular, but we all know you're a misfit But as I always say, "speak softly and carry a big stick" JFK I don't need to speak softly, but I still carry a big stick, son Taking down a Conservative cowboy like his name's Richard Nixon I'll push this Atlantic fanatic overboard and leave him for dead Then chisel his face off Mount Rushmore and add my own head I put a man on the moon and took down Communism single-handed You're as fat as Taft, man, you can't live up to my Gold Standard You can't even kill a bear, but you're still convinced you're tough By the way, your wife was Riding me last night; she liked it Rough ''(the following 4 verses are rapped from podiums, like a presidential debate) Teddy Dying runs in your family, well you can't kill a Bull Moose You think ''my ''woman's easy? Well, everybody knows that Jackie's loose JFK This disgusting trust-buster's getting crushed, you're old and dusty Ask anyone, you practically did nothing for your country Teddy I'll tear you down like they did to your precious Berlin Wall You let your guard down, like the top of your car, and now you'll fall JFK You're a novice, to be honest, and you never keep a promise You spit the Republican vote? I'll just casually walk into office ??? STOP! (Roosevelt and Kennedy look surprised. The camera turns and shows that the mediator of the debate is none other than George Washington)'' Washington I cannot tell a lie, so I'll just do as I please Chopping you two Presi-don'ts down like a pair of cherry trees My raps bite down hard, like my false wooden dentures I'm the very first American hero, call me an Avenger The father of a country against two leaders who ruined it An overly masculine walrus and a kid who isn't doing shit You're full of Bull, Roosevelt, and you look like a Moose You're more square than your Square Deal, you fatass Progressive douche And as for you, Kennedy, where to start? Well, nothing personal, But it's not hard to dis a bitch who got killed in a convertible I led the Revolution, your attempts at wars were feeble And as president, I declare your acts illegal. We the People! WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOUDECIDE! EPICRAPBATTLESOFPRESIDENTNESS! Poll Who won? Theodore Roosevelt John F. Kennedy George Washington ERBoBTTF Category:Blog posts